so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
