woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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