Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
