I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
