I love black thongs
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think I just sharted jello shots
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
