Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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