she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize