my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again