So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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