I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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