Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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