I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
