to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
