I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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