Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
