i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
