sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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