Having a random hookup so left but love u
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize