I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
