Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
