She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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