So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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