I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
