i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
