How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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