Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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