I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize