Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
