Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
