ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
