FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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