3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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