How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
