Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
