I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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