I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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