god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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