look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You ruined the universe
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize