I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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