Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She needs sedatives and a leash
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
