I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
