And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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