please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
