Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
