When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
