I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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