so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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