my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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