new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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