haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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