so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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