as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
