First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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