Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
