Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
