I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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