A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
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