I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
