Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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