sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
